Because wearing black looks mysterious

i would really love to take cello lessons.
i would also really love a hot meatball sandwich right now.

my psyciatrist says i focus on meatball sandwiches because it's "out of reach", as in, what I can't have (being an on-again-off-again vegan). Truly, my body does not do well with eggs, lactose, and caesin. Basically any animal byproducts. Gluten in limited dosages, and as much vitamin B as I can humanly inhale. I, however, don't follow this strictly. I have meat pretty much every week. I think about meat daily. Apparently, I'm "obsessing" over it. Apparently, my continuous desire for meatball subs is merely my brain thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. The only problem with that though is that I HAVE actually been over to the other side - and the grass is, in fact, much greener. Fact: meatball taste better than tofu. No coaxing packaging or glamorization of vegetarian food choices is going to change that :) I do respect my body though, and if I am not supposed to eat what normal human beings eat ... then I accept who I am, and live accordingly. (Dreaming of meatball subs).

I skyped with my family, an old friend, and my best friend today. So much skypage. But so good too :) Having a computer again is lovely. And having internet in my room is the icing on the cake.

I'm going out tonight and I still haven't done the few things I told myself that I'd do. Like cleaning my room. Or at least picking up the things on my floor. Oddly enough, I prefer organized chaos.... i think this is the inner artist in me. Or perhaps that's just an excuse I use. Probably.

Time to stop procrastinating. I'm not even enrolled in school and I still find ways to procrastinate. I thought that was just a rebellion against academia, but alas ... it looks as if procrastination is a part of my essential being. sigh. i can't escape it. or rather - i could, but .... eh, i'll do it later. :).